Celebrity Deathmatch
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Celebrity Deathmatch is a show where celebrities fight it out to the death that started on January 9th, 2007.
Contents |
[edit] Stars
- Oscar Wilde: The referee and probably the only person to be heard off the show.
- Mel Gibson: Walks around naked 24 seven.
- Samuel L. Jackson: Tries to get the motherfucking snakes out of the motherfucking arena.
- Chuck Norris: Champion. (Because He Is The Only One Still Alive)
[edit] The Start
Long, long ago, celebrities lived in harmony. Little did they know that celebrities weren't meant to live that way. Soon, they bashed each other in to bloody pulps. So Oscar Wilde saw this as an opportunity for a television show. Day after day, celebrities came in, died, and a little left. Audiences were happy, but for awhile you had to go due to it being at the time, illegal. Soon, they decided to make it legal.
[edit] Legal Problems
The show originally had legal problems, due to an unknown reason. One day, The FBI walked up and asked for a deal. Many say that the deal was that they would stay within copyright laws. Others say there was too many episodes to count anyways. Some say it might have to do with that if they did show all the episodes, live audiences would be mad due to not getting to see any new episodes before, for a long time.
[edit] Controversy
There has been some controversy due to how audience members sometimes die. When the first television season started, to see the live show, they had to sign a document stating, "If I die, it was my fault". There is still some things with a little bit of controversy, like how some people come back to life. They believe it might have to do with stunt doubles. Others say they are gods. Nobody knows the truth.
  Warning: The following text might contain spoilers. This makes the article more aerodynamic, and thus more maneuverable at high speeds. Take caution and carry a first-aid kit at all times if you don't know that the Narrator is Tyler Durden, Mister Glass was the mad bomber to begin with, Fat Albert goes to Bill Cosby to help him get back to the TV show, the alien scum was distracting Duke Nukem all along while their real invasion force was moving in on Earth, Spike Spiegel dies, Jack Sparrow gets eaten by the Kraken, the *real* final boss isn't this guy, it's the Ur-Grue, R + L really does = J, Jason is really Superman's son, Milton burns down the building because his stapler was taken away and his desk was moved to the basement, and Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!! |
[edit] Trivia
- Including the off-television version, Chuck Norris has won around 1,000 times.
- Not including it, Chuck Norris has won seven times.
- Including the off-television version, Oscar Wilde has won around 300 times.
- Not including it, Oscar Wilde has won four times.
- There have been two fights between Anna Nicole Smith and Pamela Anderson, one on the off-televison version where there was no winner because they found out it was robots. The robot fight did have a winner which was Pamela Anderson who won by ripping her in half by stomping on her repeatedly then ripping her again. But there was no winner the second time that is known of, where they ripped each other apart. This is also the only known of a rematch. Though for the God vs. Buddha there was another one, but it was a fake fight.
- The first episode of the illegal (bootlegged) season was originally going to be started off with Andrew Stoddard Appreciation Night, but Chuck Norris sent them a picture of himself, and they knew what he wanted.
- Did you know Celebrity Deathmatch has a subshow called Animal Face-Off?!? Bet not, so Animal Face-Off is just animals fighting rather than people. No difference.
[edit] Uncyclopedia
On January 1, 2007, Uncyclopedia bought Celebrity Deathmatch for UnTV. One thing showing this is the Uncyclomonium.
[edit] Uncyclomonium Yearly Special
| Episode | Fight | Featuring | Winner | Cause of Death |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Uncyclomonium '05 | Creature # 1 vs. Creature # 2 | Messed-up Creature and Audience Members | Creature # 2 (They created two monsters to open the night, but accidentally made a deformed creature) | Creature # 1: Ripped in half by the Messed-up Creature.
Messed-up Creature: Creature # 2 ripped him into four pieces and through him into Oblivion, which was created by the time-space portal made by creating the deformed creature, ultimately killing himself by being alive. Random Audience Members: Killed by Creature # 2. Creature # 2: The portal made him go crazy and he attacked the audience. They fought back and ended up killing him. |
| Oscar Wilde vs. Chuck Norris | No Winner | No Deaths: They get bored | ||
| Oscar Wilde vs. Samuel L. Jackson vs. Mel Gibson vs. Chuck Norris | User: 81.68.92.38 | Oscar Wilde | User:81.68.92.38: Electrocuted by the virtual reality machine.
No Deaths: This fight took place in virtual reality, due to them being the stars of the show, they were evened out in power so Chuck Norris wouldn't have a 99% chance of winning (the other percent is not losing), the virtual deaths are shown here: Mel Gibson: Samuel L. Jackson strangled him with snakes after getting them out of the motherfucking arena. Chuck Norris: Tried to roundhouse kick Oscar Wilde but the virtual reality realm couldn't take it and he was sent out of the virtual arena. Samuel L. Jackson: Hat shoved down throat and stabbed his heart. | |
| Uncyclomonium '06: Heaven vs. Hell | User: 81.68.92.38 vs. Black Jesus | No Winner (Heaven: 0 - Hell: 0 [You expect him to win?]) | Black Jesus: User: 81.68.92.38 was speaking like a babbling idiot (because he is), and he exploded. | |
| Jesus vs. Satan | Jesus (Heaven: 1 - Hell: 0) | Satan: Pitchfork stabbed through him. | ||
| God vs. User:81.68.92.38 (This fight was so that god could get rid of that annoying bastard once and for all) | Chuck Norris | Chuck Norris (God, knowing he would kill him, ran away to heaven, where Chuck Norris was declared the winner) | User:81.68.92.38: Exact death not known. The arena turned white and he was reduced to a pile of ashes.
(Killed by God) | |
| Uncyclomonium '07: User Special | ILIKECEREALX vs. The vader hybrid | Deathhero51 (Guest referee) | Deathhero51 | No Deaths
ILIKECEREALX and The vader hybrid knocked each other out. |
| User: 81.68.92.38 vs. May and Dawn (How do you like THAT?) | May and Dawn | User:81.68.92.38: May and Dawn rip him in half. | ||
| Deathhero51 vs. Narutowiki5808 | Deathhero51 | No Deaths: Narutowiki5808 never shows up | ||
| Uncyclomonium '07: Christmas Edition | Snowman vs. Reindeer | Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, and Santa Claus | Santa Claus | Reindeer: Slaughtered by Rudolph.
Snowman: Slaughtered by Frosty. Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer: Stabbed by the dead reindeer's horns. Frosty the Snowman: Attacked with Coal until exploded due to killing the snowman and Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer. |
| Plow Truck vs. Snowmobile | Santa Claus, Mrs. Claus, Dancer, Prancer, and Vixon | No Winner: After Santa Claus goes on his honeymoon he couldn't be accepted the winner. | Plow Truck and Snowmobile: Destroyed by Santa's sleigh. | |
| Santa Claus vs. 5 Naughty Children | 5 Nice Children, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, Demetri Martin, Dave Chappelle, Carlos Mencia, School Teacher, Salvador Dali and Al Gore (Because Santa Claus previously left the arena, 5 nice children come to take his place. They are almost instantly killed, so random celebrities are pulled out at random to fight to the death, the winner being the last one standing) | No Winner: The fight would be continued on a later date as they ran out of time. | 5 Nice Children: Squished by giant spotlight the naughty children loosened.
George W. Bush: Impaled with a light bulb by Al Gore. School Teacher and 5 Naught Children: The teacher sticks the students in a time out, they aren't happy so they go over to kill the teacher, but she turns the part of the arena they are standing in into lava. |
[edit] List of Traditions
This is a list of traditions that started in Season 2/3. Vehicular Deathmatch stared at Season 8.
- Uncyclomonium: Three fights where the winner gets a dangerous weapon/trophy to use in their next fight. The only person that won dieing of this after that match before the next is Leonardo DiCaprio. It was brought back in the yearly episode, but got rid of the dangerous weapon due to complaints by the contestants.
- Rabdemonium: All three fights are brought by "Rabbi" where the winner gets a brand new car. One of the cars got leaked out in the fight before causing the deaths of Paris Hilton and Hillary Duff.
- Workers Toll: 10 Workers numbered from two competing jobs go onto a war of a fight. They are aloud to use any weapon findable in their store. The only fight of this so far was FedEx and UPS, FedEx won.
- Video Game Vengeance: It includes many celebrities from video games, such as Mario or Duke Nukem.
- Vehicular Deathmatch: Many vehicles are celebrities too and they join in the battle. Heck, much similar to characters that die, vehicles can get wrecked too.
- Best of Celebrity Deathmatch: The best fights from Celebrity Deathmatch are shown. (Nominate on "discussion")
[edit] Episodes
[edit] Season 1
[edit] The Bootlegged Season
[edit] Season 2/3
[edit] Season 4
[edit] Season 5
[edit] Season 6
[edit] Season 7
[edit] Season 8
[edit] Season 9
[edit] Season 10
[edit] Season 11
| Episode | Fight | Featuring | Winner | Cause of Death |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Vehicular Deathmatch III | School Bus vs. Tow Truck | Ruined Car | School Bus | Tow Truck: While trying to tow the ruined car, it falls down a cliff.
Ruined Car: Smashed by the tow truck. |
| Helicopter vs. Airplane | Suicide Terrorists | Helicopter | Suicide Terrorists and Airplane: Blown up by the suicide terrorists bombs. | |
| Bicycle vs. Motorcycle | Caravan | No Winner | Motorcycle: Gas leakage and the engine blows up.
Bicycle and Caravan: Caravan tries to run over the bicycle but the Caravan's engine blew up destroying both. | |
| Video Game Vengeance: Snowdown Edition | 5 BurnOut Cars (from the BurnOut series) vs. 5 Need for Speed Cars (from the Need for Speed series) | 5 Grand Theft Auto Cars (from the Grand Theft Auto series), 5 Driver Cars (from the Driver series), KITT Car, and Salvador Dali | No Winner: The surviving cars were stolen by Salvador Dali and never seen again | 2 Need for Speed Cars: While attacking the Burnout Cars, they got caught in a crash and flipped out of the arena.
KITT Car: The Driver Cars run him over when entering the ring. 5 Driver Cars: The ring was surrounded by a giant moat, which they fall into and get electrocuted. 3 Grand Theft Auto Cars: Shot in fuel tank and blown up. |
| Metal Sonic vs. HSK-75 (from the game Full Auto 2: Battlelines) | Salvador Dali | Metal Sonic | HSK-75: Stolen and parts taken off by Salvador Dali. | |
| Shadow the Hedgehog and Sonic the Hedgehog vs. Mario and Wario | Salvador Dali | Mario and Sonic the Hedgehog | Shadow the Hedgehog: Mario burns him with a fire ball and while he is distracted, and Wario decapitates him.
Salvador Dali: Wario beats him repeatedly with car parts Salvador had in his pockets. Wario: Mario and Sonic decide that the only way to stop the pointless franchise enemies is to team up, so they rip Wario in half. | |
| Vehicular Deathmatch IV | Rally Car vs. Dune Buggy | Rally Car | Dune Buggy: Sand gets caught in the engine (Before the fight, they had a chance to make it to look like what the rally car is used to, or the dune buggy, the dune buggy won), spins out of control, and falls off a cliff. | |
| 5 Formula 1 Cars vs. 5 NASCAR Cars | A Formula 1 Car | 2 Formula 1 Cars: Engine blows up and they explode.
1 Formula 1 Car: Shot in the gas tank. 3 NASCAR Cars: Electrocuted. 2 NASCAR Cars and 1 Formula 1 Car: Blown up by engine malfunction. | ||
| Limousine vs. Taxi | Monster Truck | Monster Truck | Limousine: Smashed by the monster truck.
Taxi: The limousine remains destroyed the engine after flying out from underneath the monster truck, which rips the taxi to shreds. | |
| Video Game Vengeance: Next-Gen Console War (Return of the Missing Cars) | 5 MotorStorm Cars (from the MotorStorm series) vs. 5 Gran Turismo Cars (from the Gran Turismo series) | 3 Need for Speed Cars (from the Need for Speed series), 2 Grand Theft Auto Cars (from the Grand Theft Auto series), and 5 Burnout Cars (from the Burnout series) | No Winner: The remaining cars were disqualified because they had no gas left, a fight on a future date between them has been planned. | 5 Burnout Cars: Burned out.
2 MotorStorm Cars and 3 Gran Turismo Cars: They were all "car drunk" and got into a car crash. |
| Colin McRae vs. Tony Stewart | Colin McRae's NASCAR Car | Colin McRae's NASCAR Car | Tony Stewart: Run over by a NASCAR car driven by Colin McRae.
Colin McRae: Car goes out of control and runs him over, flattening him. | |
| Galaga, Frogger, and Klonoa vs. 5 Space Invaders (If Frogger, Galaga, and Klonoa failed to get rid of the Space Invaders before the time ran out, they would all blow up) | 1 Space Invader | Galaga: Impaled by Space Invader Shots.
2 Space Invaders: Blown up by Frogger. Frogger: Destroyed by 2 Space Invader's suicide attempt. 2 Space Invaders: Suicide destroyed Frogger. Klonoa: Failed to get rid of the Space Invader before the time ran out, and got blown up. | ||
| Brought to you by William Shakespeare | 3 MotorStorm Cars (from the MotorStorm series) vs. 2 Gran Turismo Cars (from the Gran Turismo series) vs. 3 Need for Speed Cars (from the Need for Speed series) vs. 2 Grand Theft Auto Cars (from the Grand Theft Auto series) | William Shakespeare (Appears throughout the whole episode as a guest commentator and in the last fight as a fighter) and KITT Car | KITT Car | 3 MotorStorm Cars and 2 Gran Turismo Cars: Smashed by KITT Car running in circles.
2 Grand Theft Auto Cars and 3 Need for Speed Cars: Blown up by William Shakespeare experimenting with rocket launchers. |
| Bill Clinton vs. Demetri Martin vs. Dave Chappelle vs. Carlos Mencia vs. Salvador Dali vs. Al Gore | Larry the Cable Guy, Ron White, Bill Engvall, and Jeff Foxworthy | No Winner: They were told that the fight was lasting too long and they were going to have to skip to the next fight, that made the contestants angry. | Carlos Mencia: Was killed after the last fight ended, and nobody remembered.
Salvador Dali: Impaled in a previously destroyed car. Ron White: Guitar shoved through head. | |
| William Shakespeare vs. William Shatner | Al Gore, Bill Clinton, Bill Engvall, Demetri Martin, Dave Chappelle, Jeff Foxworthy, and Larry the Cable Guy | William Shakespeare, Demetri Martin, and Al Gore (Al Gore didn't want to stop as he was getting ready to kill, so he re-challenged [again]) | William Shatner: Repeatedly impaled with Shakespeare's plays.
Blue Collar Comedians: Beaten to death with rusty nail. Bill Clinton and Dave Chappelle: They get headaches which cause their heads to explode. | |
| Food, People, and More Foods I | Domino's Pizza Employee vs. Pizza Hut Employee | Jabba the Hut | Domino's Pizza Employee | Jabba the Hut and Pizza Hut Employee: Exploded by a dynamite. |
| Jack Black vs. Jack Thompson | Jack White | Jack "Black n' White" | Jack Thompson: Mauled by Jack White. | |
| Chocolate vs. Vanilla | Chonilla | Chonilla | No Deaths: They are fused together to make Chonilla. | |
| Animatic Fights | Naruto vs. Sasuke (from the Naruto series) | Kappa Mikey and Gonard (from the Kappa Mikey series) | Kappa Mikey and Gonard | Sasuke: Ripped apart by Naruto.
Naruto: Kappa Mikey falls from the sky and squishes him. |
| William Shakespeare and Demetri Martin vs. Al Gore | Jio and Ruby (from the O-Parts Hunter series) (Guest Comentators [They were picked so that the fight had an anime related part to it]) | Demetri Martin | William Shakespeare: Stabbed with ManBearPig merchandise.
Al Gore: Impaled with paper. | |
| Yagami Light vs. L (from the Death Note series) | No Winner | No Deaths: They play an entire "cat and mouse" game while blindfolded. | ||
| Vehicular Deathmatch V | 5 Battle Ships vs. 5 Submarines | Ship Captain and Shark | A Submarine | 2 Submarines: Missile attack misfires, killing both.
A Battle Ship: Aww, you sunk my battle ship! 1 Submarine: Smashes into a wall. 3 Battle Ships: Mine planted inside one when they all blow up. Battle Ship and Its Captain: The mine makes a shark angry so it destroys them. |
| Hovercraft vs. Hover Car | Rally Car | Rally Car | Hovercraft: Impaled on the Hover Car by the Rally Car.
Hover Car: The hovercraft crushes the hover car. | |
| Police Car vs.. Ambulance Car | Ambulance Drivers | Police Car | No Deaths: The ambulance drivers are arrested for assault. | |
| Video Game Vengeance: Classic Console War | Pac-Man vs. Inky, Blinky, Pinky and Sue (Pac-Man had one chance to get rid of all of the ghosts before his ability to eat them ran out) | Sue | Inky: Pac-Man grabs a pen and uses the ink to blind him, then ate him.
Blinky: Stabbed in the eyes with the pen, then eaten. Pinky: Written with the remains of the pink pen, then eaten. Pac-Man: His time runs out and Sue devours him. | |
| Sonic the Hedgehog vs. Dr. Eggman | Sonic the Hedgehog | Dr. Eggman: Spiked to death. | ||
| 8-Bit Mario vs. 8-Bit Donkey Kong | 3D Mario and 3D Donkey Kong | No Winner | 3D Mario: Ripped to shreds by 8-Bit Donkey Kong.
8-Bit Donkey Kong: Eaten by 3D Donkey Kong. 3D Donkey Kong and 8-Bit Mario: Mario's hammer goes haywire and smashes both of them. |
